


Letters to his Chosen Family

by Ncredible



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Doll's knew, RIP Xavier Dolls, Sadness, Spoilers, Wayhaught - Freeform, everyone dealing with death, post 3x02, written before 3x03
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-19 23:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15520863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ncredible/pseuds/Ncredible
Summary: Nicole finds letter Dolls wrote to everyone in his chosen family. She gives everyone their letter and each member deals with Dolls death.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey baby, where’d you go so early this morning?” Waverly asks from her seat at the table with Doc and Jeremy. 

Wynonna is fumbling around looking for an open bottle of Jack or maybe Jim, she might even have switched over to Jose just to have some variety. I thought I’d see Wynonna drink but since Dolls she’s been drinking more than when Alice was sent away and I didn’t think that was possible. Waverly cried herself to sleep in my arms the last two nights. I think I’ve heard Doc say speak two sentences in the last two days. Jeremy has been babbling on and on about the fact Dolls was going to die regardless of what happened on that ledge and it was no one’s fault.

I close the door behind me and shrug off my coat and hang it on the rack by the door. and give Waverly a quick kiss on her head before answering her, “Nedley and I went over to the address we had for Dolls. We thought that if there was anything to find we didn’t want the locals to come across it when the rent he paid was up.”

“Find anything?” Doc asks, taking a drink from his glass. 

“Not really, a couple of documents and charts here and there. I brought what was there with, me but I think he mainly had it just so that Nedley and I  
had somewhere to start looking for him. There was one thing we found as we were leaving. A mug for Nedley. It’s just like Dolls’ but has a ‘R’ on it.”

“And they say Dolls didn’t have a gooey center,” Wynonna quips and goes back to opening cupboards looking for a bottle. 

“Under it was a package address to me.” I tell the room and go back to my jacket to show them the package Dolls left. 

“Was it more on the cult?” Waverly asks giving my hand a squeeze. I finally told her that I am sure I was a sole survivor of the Cult of Buslhar’s cult murders.

“I thought it was at first, but when I opened it I found envelopes addressed to all of us.” I pull the envelopes from my coat pocket and hand out the envelopes to the person they belong to. Wynonna barely looks at hers before turns back to finding another bottle to drink from.

“Did you open yours, baby?” Waverly asks turning hers over in her hand a few times. 

“No not yet, I thought we could open ours together.” I tell her, not really wanting to be alone for whatever Dolls could have written in here for me. 

“I’d like that,” she tells me sincerely giving me the first smile I’ve seen on her face in days. 

“Isn’t that sweet. Date night with writings of a dead guy, and they say romance is dead.” Wynonna quips.

“Wynonna,” Waverly reprimands.

“It’s okay,” I tell her. If Wynonna needs a verbal punching bag after this I can it. Being her punching bag is a lot easier than keeping up with either Earp’s drinking habits and they need someone to be strong for them now that Dolls is gone. 

“We are out of whisky, someone is gonna need to make a run,” Wynonna says pulling the empty bottle that I stashed at the homestead for Waverly and my one-year anniversary. My mistake, but I thought because it was flavored Wynonna wouldn’t drink it.

“I’ll go,” I volunteer because out of the group sitting at the table I am the least likely to have been drinking this morning.

“You just got here, baby,” Waverly says. 

“I’ll be quick.” I promise her with a quick kiss and turn to put my jacket on.

“Nicole, can I get a lift back to the station? There are a few tests I want to run to see if I can figure out how that guy was able to poof in and out like that,” Jeremy asks getting up to follow me outside.

“Not a problem. I’ll drop you off, get some groceries and a bottle or two.” I tell him.

“None of that flavor crap, Haught, straight whiskey.” Wynonna demands stilling standing in the kitchen.

“Officer Haught,” Doc says pulling me aside, “there is a number of bottles sitting behind the counter at Shorty’s for Wynonna.”

“Thanks, Doc.” I tell him and head out the door.


	2. Jeremy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Jeremy's letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty short, because I wasn't totally sure what message I thought Dolls would leave for Jeremy, but I wanted to do a chapter of everyone getting a letter.

“I should have said something about Doll’s drugs were making him unstable.” I say when we are halfway into town.

“It wasn’t.” Nicole tells me in no uncertain terms.

“I knew for weeks he was unstable. If I had told Wynonna, she might have been able to get him to take it more seriously. I might have been able to get him to sit down for some of the tests. I…”

“Jeremy!” Nicole says silencing me, “I wasn’t your fault. Dolls wasn’t a guy to just follow orders. Not since he met Wynonna. If he didn’t want help, you couldn’t have made him get help.”

“But…” “The Earp’s don’t blame you and you shouldn’t blame yourself.” Nicole tells me keeping her eyes firmly on the road while she is talking.

I turn the letter over a few times in my hands before I rip it open deciding there and then I need to know what Dolls thought was so important he wrote it down for me.

_Jeremy,_

_It wasn’t on you, this was my choice to make and I made it. I didn’t want to spend the time I had left trying to fight this. But, keep helping the Earps they are going to need your help with the research and disposal now that I’m gone. Whatever happens never let Wynonna or Waverly risk becoming another test subject like I was even if it helps end the curse._

_Thanks for everything,_

_Agent Dolls_

I’m not sure what I was expecting to find, but I cant’s say I am surprised he got straight to the point. Research for the Earps and never let them become a dragon thing like he did. I can do that. That’s easy. Dolls didn’t need to worry about me trying to keep Wynonna and Waverly safe with my science.

I can feel Nicole’s eyes on me, but she doesn’t say anything as she pulls into her spot at the station, “you sure you want to be working right now? You could always come back to the homestead and hang out with the rest of us.” “Yea, thanks Nicole. I just made a promise to Dolls and I need to figure out how that guy was able to appear and disappear like that.”

Nicole doesn’t ask about what promise I could have made she just gives a nod of her head and pulls out of her spot and heads for the store and Shorty’s to get supplies for them back at the homestead.


	3. Nicole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this from my phone while at work, apologizes if the format is a little screwed up.

I make it to Shorty’s after picking up a few food items at the store. The Earp girls have been picking at the dinners I’ve made but they have to eat. I open the door at Shorty’s and look behind the counter and sure enough there is a small section that has a placard saying it’s for Wynonna only. I grab a Gentlemen Jack, good old Number 7 and a bottle of Crown Royal for Waverly, and I find a bottle of Rum on the shelf for me and put them all in a bag. I leave a few bills by the register and a note about the rum for Doc in case I don’t see him before he comes back here. I was going to get the Rum at the store but I forgot, hopefully Doc won’t mind.

I lean over the counter just thinking what else Waverly and Wynonna might need in the next few days. Jeremy is already working on the demon’s disappearing trick. I already took care of the arrangements that needed to be done at the morgue. I don’t think Wynonna will object to any of the choices I made. I wish I knew where else Dolls safe houses were. I know he wouldn’t leave anything laying around for a civilian to find but his rent checks would run out eventually and human curiosity would get the better of someone eventually.

I hear the crumple of my letter in my pocket and I take it out. I study my name written on the letter and can’t stop thinking about the fact that Dolls has, or rather had, really pretty handwriting. Wynonna would never let him live that down if she knew. She would be cracking jokes about that for weeks.

I see an ice pick on my side of the bar and decide that I need to know what was in this letter before I go back to the Homestead. If Dolls makes me cry in this letter I’m gonna need to get that out before I go back and try and take care of the Earps. I can just lose my cool here in the bar and put my game face back on, on my way back to the Homestead.

I take a breath and use the ice pick like a letter opener and unfold the letter,

_Officer Haught,_

_I should have said something to you about the formula I take was unstable that way you would have more notice before I was gone. You’re going to have take care of Wynonna and Waverly. You know how Holliday can be and the girls are going to need another grown up around them. And we both know Doc needs a grown up just as much as Wynonna does._

_The following two locations are where I stored B.B.D. case files and artifacts. I have everything I think you might need to effectively help the team with the supernatural. Some of the volumes I have you might need Waverly’s help translating because they were written in ancient languages._

_The other safe houses I had set up in town just had some clothes. Nothing anyone would be too interested in. The landlords can sell the stuff and be done with it._

_The first location has some additional information on the Cult of Bulshar. I have a few maps and thoughts on the cult. Speculation on why those places. Why those numbers. Things like that._

_I think I found the incident that indicated a sole survivor, you. You were never identified by name, but following the trail had led me to believe it was you. I have the evidence laid out in folder labeled survivor._

_There were other things I should have said, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw you into this on a whim. You didn’t seem to recall any memories and there was nothing beyond rumors that I led me to believe the survivor was you. There was proof of a survivor and I was convinced it was you, but I couldn’t make myself take away the mental blocks you set up in your mind. Even after you telling me you knew you were a survivor I couldn’t tell you and rob you of what was left of what your mind has used to protect you all these years. I am sorry, Nicole. Truly._

_I wish I could have been there to help you figure all this out and help you through it. And for that, Nicole, again I am sorry._

_Please look out for Wynonna. Now that I can’t. Make sure Alice comes back to her._

_Xavier_

Tears are falling fast down my checks. I’m torn between being mad he knew I was a survivor and grateful that he never said anything. I wouldn’t have been ready for that ever, but I feel like I can handle it now. I have to handle it now. Under his name there are two addresses that he promised would have BBD case files and stuff to help the Earps with their quest to end the curse.

I decide that I’m gonna go back to the homestead now and cook dinner for the girls and Doc, if he is still there. Then after dinner I’m gonna tell Waverly that I need to feed Calamity Jane and head over to Dolls safe houses. I hate lying to her and I’ll come clean when her and Wynonna are ready to deal with the world again. But I decide I am gonna take everything Dolls has stashed and for the time being move it to the Homestead that way no revenants or anything else can get its hands on it, until I can decide what to do with it. Most of it might end up at the Sheriff’s station, but I want to do a full inventory before making any decisions.

I let the last few tears I have in me fall before I wipe the tears from my face and put on my game face and head to the Homestead to be strong for Waverly and Wynonna. I think about putting he bottle of rum back now that I have quite a bit I need to get done tonight. Then I think that I might need to lose my cool a little while I’m loading up Dolls safe houses. I look the bar back up and head back to the homestead. Back to Waverly. I think I might need to cuddle up with Waverly tonight even if I don’t tell her what was in my letter yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be forever convinced (unless otherwise states in the show) that Dolls knew things about everyone else he never said. I don’t think it was news to him that Nicole was the sole survivor.


	4. Doc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not especially happy with this chapter, but I wanted to get something out.

I decided I needed some air shortly after Officer Haught left to take Jeremy into town. Waverly and Wynonna are both quiet and nothing, but the sound of the clock ticking behind me. Wynonna keeps staring the necklace that Dolls never took off, I think Waverly called them dog tags. I went into barn and I keep going over Dolls and I last conversation. He seemed so unworried about what comes next and he knew. He knew he was dying and still wasn’t worried about it and yet every time I close my eyes I see the hellfire from when Dolls shot me in that alternate reality.

I find myself pacing inside the barn trying to rid the images of the Hellfire and the sickness I feel about the last conversation I had with Dolls. He was so sure about what was next for him when he died. I hope that he did end up somewhere nicer than Hell. He has too. I have no way of truly helping Wynonna aside from making sure that the liquor at the Homestead and Shorty’s is always flowing. I thought the worst I would ever see from Wynonna was after Willa died, but somehow this is worse. Wynonna seems at a loss and I don’t know how to help her cope. That was something Dolls did better at, he was the better man.

There is a crunch of the gravel outside of the barn and I move to the window to see Officer Haught’s vehicle coming back up the drive. I watch as she gets out her vehicle and makes her way into the house with bags presumably filled with whiskey for Wynonna as well as food for everyone else. I decide to take my leave knowing Officer Haught is here, she will be able to help the girls better than I could. Officer Haught and Dolls were both better at helping the girls with this kind of thing. I make my way to my car and slowly make my way to Shorty’s to open it for the night.

Getting it to Shorty’s, I found it was locked up just as I left it this morning. I get out of the cold and make my way over to the bar intent on pouring myself a drink and I find a note and some bills left by the register. I pick up the note and see Officer Haught’s handwriting _I took a bottle of rum for myself, there is only so much whiskey I can take. I hope I left enough for the bottle. Let me know if I owe more. Nicole._ I must remember to stock better rum for her, all we have is the bottom shelf requirement for any bar, so I am told anyway. If I can’t ease the pain the girls, women, in my life are feeling I can make sure that I have a bar stocked with the liquor of their choice. I poor myself that drink and shrug off my outer coat and take my shot and line up another one. Dolls’ letter is in my breast pocket of my vest and I pull it out and stare at my name in Dolls’ handwriting. I can’t imagine him saying anything worse than we have said to each other, but not knowing exactly is waiting for me in this letter has me a little unnerved.

I spent over a century in a well and spent a few days in Hell, surely, I can handle a note written by a dead man. I take another shot of whiskey before ripping open the letter from Special Agent Dolls.

_Holliday,_

_Don’t screw it up. Be the man Wynonna believes you to be._

_Xavier_

Less than fifteen words and Xavier Dolls has managed to give me a lecture on how to be a good man. I pour out another shot and raise it in toast to the late Xavier Dolls and vow to do my best in his memory and take the shot before pour another one and taking that too.


	5. Waverly

Nicole left hours ago, she said she had forgotten to feed Calamity Jane when she was in town. I offered to go with, but she said that Wynonna shouldn’t be alone and that she would be back soon. Wynonna is asleep with half a bottle of Jack next to her that Nicole brought back from Shorty’s. I’m not sure where Doc went and I’m starting to worry about Nicole. She said she’d be back soon, but it’s been hours. It doesn’t take that long to see to her cat.

Just as I feel myself about to go into full panic mode abut not knowing where Nicole is, a byproduct of Dolls dying is not knowing where Nicole is even for an hour or two has me irrationally panicking, I hear the crunch of gravel and look at the window and see Nicole’s cruiser coming up the drive.

I watch from the window in my bedroom willing myself to calm down. Nicole wasn’t going anywhere, if widows, crazy sisters and a drunken hot tub kiss wouldn’t make her leave nothing will. But still I don’t want to drown her in my grief and ignore hers more than I already know I have. Nicole has been my rock since the day I met her and learning to be hers is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I watch as Nicole parks the cruiser closer to the barn. Not her normal spot next to my Jeep, which is much closer to the house. She gets out of her cruiser and she pops the trunk and starts to carry box after box into the barn. My curiosity gets the better of me and I leave the window and find my coat and go outside to see what Nicole is up to. She is free to store whatever she needs to in the barn, but I wonder what was so important that she is unloading right now.

I follow her into the barn without her noticing and try to chipperly say, “odd time to decide to move in. Not that I’m against it, I just thought... Nicole, you okay?” I stop as I notice I must have spooked her by coming out here and following her into the barn.

“Shit, Waves. No need for the stealth mode.” Nicole grins after her breathing seems to go back to normal. “Sorry, baby,” I tell her, “I was just asking about the boxes.”

“Dolls, he left his other safe houses to me or rather the stuff he kept in them and I thought it would be safer here than where it was with him gone. I hope it’s okay. I was just planning on storing them here until I got the chance to go through them all and figure out what to do with them. The weapons I found I figure could just stay here, but the files I want to go through more thoroughly before taking them to the office or storing them somewhere a revenant could get to them.” Nicole explains.

“I thought you said there wasn’t anything at Dolls motel room when you and Nedley went through it this morning.” I ask, surely, I haven’t been so in my own world that I didn’t understand what Nicole had said earlier when she came over to give us all our letters from Dolls.

Nicole finally stopped moving boxes around and looked at me, “when I dropped Jeremy off I went into Shorty’s to get Wynonna’s whiskey and I thought I should just read mine and deal before I came back. And then I decided when I went to feed the cat I would go see what was in the other safe houses.”

“I thought we were gonna do that together.” I say.

“I didn’t want to add to everything you were feeling.” Nicole says sitting on one of the boxes she brought in. I walk over to her and sit on her lap when she opens her arms for me.

“That’s not how this is supposed to work,” I remind her.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just wanted to make sure you and Wynonna were okay. You both have been through a lot with Dolls dying.” She tells me.

I give her quick kiss before I tell her, “I just want you to be okay too.”

“I guess we both could do better,” Nicole admits.

“You can store whatever you need to here for as long as you want,” I tell her. I would like her to move in properly, but with everything I don’t want to rush my relationship with Nicole, not when we have forever. I want to be able to ask her to move in I want it to just be about us and no other reasons.

“Thanks, baby,” she tells me pulling me closer and holding me tightly.

“I need you here, when I read mine,” I tell her, “I don’t know how to handle this without you here by my side.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nicole promises. I pull the letter out of my coat pocket where it has been all afternoon after Nicole left with Jeremy. I opened the later.

_Waverly,_

_I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, but telling all of you the truth and knowing there was nothing to be done was harder than I ever imagined. It wasn’t a reality I was willing to force any of us to live in. Wynonna is gonna need you, keep up your training it’s going to come in handy in the coming battles, and don’t forget to not drop your elbow. It gives away your next move to your enemy._

_Dolls_

I feel the tears coming down my checks and Nicole pulls me tighter and whispers that it is all going to be okay. I put my head in the crook of her shoulder and let the tears for Dolls fall down my face. “I never told him I loved him like the big brother I never had.” I tell Nicole. Dolls might have started out as a stuffy Special Agent, but he was like a big brother before long.

“He knew Waves, he knew.” Nicole tells me rubbing circles around my back.

“But I never said anything, none of us.” I say, wishing he had said something so that we could have done something for him before it was too late. “He knew,” Nicole repeats, “do you want to go upstairs and warm up?”

“Trying to get me in bed?” I say trying to joke and lighten the mood in the barn.

“You’re shaking, Waves. I don’t want you to get sick.” Nicole says and rubs her hands up and down my arms to try and keep me warmer.

“I am getting cold,” I concede realizing the chill I am feeling since sitting in this barn.

“Come on,” Nicole says as I stand up from my seat on her lap and we walk hand in hand back into the house. Nicole goes over to where Wynonna fell asleep and take the bottle from her hand and covers her up with a blanket from the back of the couch. Nicole and I go up to my bedroom and we change into pajamas and get into bed and I immediately snuggle up to Nicole.

“I miss Dolls,” I tell Nicole.

“I do too,” she tells me.

“How are we going to do this without him?”

“I don’t know, but we have too.”

“You aren’t allowed to keep this kind of secret from me, ever.” I tell her seriously. “Okay.” “I’m serious, Nicole. If… if you have to leave I want to know the minute you do.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nicole promises.

“Just promise me I’ll know when you do.”

“Okay, baby. You know what I know,” Nicole promises. “Good, can you just hold me close and make me forget about all the bad? Just for tonight?” Nicole pulls me closer and immediately starts telling me some story about when she was backpacking through the states, but not about her time in Vegas. I drift off to her talking about her time in Washington State where there is a wall of used gum. Reassured that for tonight, at least, Nicole is safe and no one else is dying today.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments increases the creative juices. Thanks in advance.


End file.
